Parenting Philosophies and Nursing Past a Year

I believe in attachment theory. Developmentally, it's important for a child to attach to a caregiver early on. I don't, however, practice attachment parenting (or at least my understanding of attachment parenting). Here's what our parenting has looked like so far:

Sleeping

I think of myself as the guardian of my child's sleep. I followed the general principles of Baby Wise from the moment I brought my little guy home. Contrary to what many critics believe, this is not a "cry it out" approach. Rather, it's a pattern-establishing-cry-distinguishing plan. By feeding baby every three hours (and making sure it's a full feeding), you gain the confidence of knowing your baby is not crying because he's hungry. In the earliest months, this leaves two other basic options: (1) dirty diaper or (2) tired. Over time, you learn what your baby's different cries mean.

Granted, I didn't follow the rules of Baby Wise strictly. I let Caleb nap in his swing, and we would rock him to sleep in the earliest months. But I was all about establishing the overall pattern: eat-awake-sleep. He learned how to put himself to sleep instead of drinking/nursing himself to sleep.

Nursing
This was very hard for me in the beginning. (You can read about it here if you're interested). The progression of my thoughts on nursing : "I hate this. Why would anyone do this?" to "I just want to get through the next feeding" to "I think I can make it to 6 months" to "When did this become so effortless?" to "I don't want this to end." Really, I thought I would stop nursing when Caleb got teeth. And boy, did he get teeth. But I found we could manage by changing position.

The biggest aid in coming this far has been the decrease in the number of feedings. I would have worn out long ago if I had to continue nursing him every three hours, like I did the first few months. Now that he's thirteen months, I only nurse him when he wakes up in the morning and before he goes down at night. Hands down, the attachment parenting part I could never, ever do is demand feeding. I'm not judging whether it's good or bad, only that it would be mentally and emotionally impossible for this momma. Plus, since I never demand fed Caleb, he doesn't expect that he can get it whenever he wants. He knows when he'll get to nurse, and I like to think that gives him comfort as he manages the rest of the day on solid food.

One of the side effects of the scheduled approach - at least with my baby - has been that he does not race over to me and start grabbing at my boobs or my shirt. That, my friends, makes me feel better about nursing him as long as I'd like. While I'd like to think of myself as socially progressive in the area of public breast feeding, it is just weird to see kids older than one nursing in public. Since Caleb doesn't demand to nurse, and we've built it into our schedule, I have avoided those awkward moments.  

Riding in the Moby in the windy city.

Cuddling/Carrying

I believe in cuddling. Period. I don't think it spoils the child, only makes them feel loved and accepted. Caleb knows how to give hugs and he's working on giving kisses. He's pretty busy running around playing with his cars these days, so I'm glad I didn't hold back when he was immobile. I also carried Caleb regularly in the Moby when he weighed less than 20 lbs. Now, I put him in the Kelty backpack carrier. It always calms him down, and it frees up my hands. It's a win-win.

Cuddling with Paul's cousin, Bradley.

New moms get lots of advice on parenting. The best advice I got came from my childhood friend, Becky, who has two kids. She said, "Laura, just do what works best for you. You love your kid. That's all he really needs." That's a good word, my friend, a good word.